she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
