38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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