nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
