and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
