do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
