You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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