Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
