he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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