There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
