Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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