strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
