That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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