the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Randomize