yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
My dick has a subreddit
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Randomize
