We won't sleep together?
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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