can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
