haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
