You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
