How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
