and my herpes radar will keep us safe
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
