i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
