sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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