thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
