Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
