Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Sorry my hands just texted you
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize