wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
