i don't like sucking hair
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
