I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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