Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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