the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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