So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
