Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
