I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
