I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
