Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
organizing the empties. That sober.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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