About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
