Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
it glows. i had to have it.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
