I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
