I don't usually arrange sex via text message
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
