also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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