she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
