no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Randomize
