I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I wish you could order shots online.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
