It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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