Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize