im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Just invented taco cereal.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
