somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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