If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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