I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
