I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize