it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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