Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Randomize
