Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
