wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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