Its about making memories worth repressing
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
