is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
