i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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