do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
