I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
